wa-hay!

Many good things have happened this week. Last weekend i spent 23.5 hours in glasgow with alan, which, while brief, was lush, and i couldnt have coped without it - we'd been apart two weeks by then, and if i'd not gone to stay it would have been another week again until we saw each other, which is just way too long! I then came home and had anna staying with me for four days, which was also amazing - the time i have with anna and mike always seems to go too quickly, while the time apart drags horrendously. She left this morning to go home to norfolk for the summer, i can't believe they've finished first year already, it's crazy.

But we did some great things while anna was up; we went looking at wedding dresses, though none were tried on, we designed several possible wedding invitations, and we also went to an early morning prayer meeting at "dimension", essentially a youth church project in whitley bay, my town. I've heard a lot about this meeting, i get invited every month, but i've never gone before now, essentially cos i've never been able to bring myself to sleep-sacrifice. But this week we went, and it was great, though as i'd been warned to expect, attendance was minimal - apparently a lot of the time only the guy who heads up the whole project and one other guy turn up, which is such a shame considering what we're praying about - the youth of our town - and even more so when you consider that it's open to EVERY CHRISTIAN IN THE AREA. Yikes. I've committed to going every month now till i leave for glasgow, and i dont say that with any pride - if anything im ashamed i didnt do this earlier.

So yeah things are good here, and especially minty considering alan is coming home on saturday for the summer :D i have to go to work now, but enjoy your evenings everyone! x

Eternity Church

This is our church building in Kosova, known only as "astrit and driton's church" while we were in Gjakove (after the pastors), but recently named "Eternity Church". It's a rented house, there's four floors; one underground, two you can see, and one that's some kind of fabled midget roof space that no one ever went in. The people on the steps in the photograph are me and anna, as far as i can remember we were turning up late for something. That would be normal.

The ground floor was where we met for prayer meetings, but we also where we just hung out - there's a little kitchen, and some amazingly bright red sofas. We used to meet there on sunday nights to watch this soap called "familje moderne" ("modern family", as if that needed translating. It was about this strange group of people who lived in Prishtina, the "capital" of kosova). Anyway! Upstairs was where we had our service. The room was really plain, it just had chairs, a wood burner and the drum kit, prized possession of Visar and Nullti. But it became home.

The thing about church was, there was always someone there - it's not like so many of our churches in the UK where everyone turns up for the sunday service after which the doors are locked until a mid-week meeting. Nearly the entire congregation (which ok, was only about 30 at maximum, but still) went through the building every day, and in our cases it was usually several times a day! It was the hub of everything that was going on, which i suppose in an ideal world would be what all our churches are like, but in our culture and with our lifestyles that just doesnt seem to be possible. A huge number of people who came to astrit and driton's lived in the nearby streets, and it was just natural to pop round - the church were each others best friends, they worked together (there was a big ministry to surrounding villages like hereq, drenica and krushe e madhe, where we worked too), worshipped together, hung out together - sure, people argued sometimes, but it was a very close-knit group, more like a family than any other church ive been in. I remember one week when for some reason we hadnt been in church for about five days and it was like "woah, whats going on!".

I miss the fellowship that people have there. When you arrived at church, you greeted EVERYONE - that means shaking everyones hand, asking how everyone is - "a je mire?", anna, mike? - which was kind of embarassing if you turned up late. Although i would find it very hard to go back to kosova for some reasons, i wish i could see the church again, be there again. It's been persecuted a lot recently, broken into several times, and now the guys in the church - which i guess is astrit and driton, patrit and besim - seem to be taking turns to sleep in the building to protect it. Please pray for their safety, and a continuing blessing on them, as they were to us.

"So...
Everybody's gone to war,
But we don't know what we're fighting for,
Don't tell me it's a worthy cause,
No cause could be so worthy.
If love is a drug, then I guess we're all sober,
If hope is a song then I guess it's all over,
How to have faith, when faith is a crime?
I don't want to die...

If God's on our side, then God is a joker,
Asleep on the job, his children fall over,
Out through the door and straight to the sky,
I don't want to die...!

For every man who wants to rule the world,
There'll be a man who just wants to be free,
What do we learn but what should not be learnt?
Too late to find a cure for this disease"

gner, brighton, and the prodigal son.

On saturday afternoon i travelled from newcastle to brighton, which was possibly the best journey i've ever had. Unlike my normal experience of gner (ie no one talking until the train breaks down, at which point righteous indignation bonds passengers to the extent that they swop phone numbers and become life-long buddies), i had some great conversations with people. The first of these happened between darlington and peterborough with a south african guy called elvis, who had only been in the UK for 3months and had just visited glasgow for the first time. Thanks to daniel having lived in south africa and alan living in Glasgow we had enough in common to start talking, but pretty quickly progressed past that and onto discussing the british culture (he said so many things that perhaps deserve a whole post of their own) and Jesus, thanks to discovering his dad talking was a pastor in johannesburg. He told me he was a christian but he didnt go to church very often, especially now he's in the UK, and had a lot of fights with his dad about it. So yeah, i had a chance to talk about my faith, and it was really cool - i was quite sad when he left after two hours, although i think everyone around us who'd had to put up with two hours of loud discussion about the aids epidemic, homosexuality in the british church and jesus weren't nearly so gutted.

Next up was an indian family who were travelling europe, and a couple, the guy who was from mexico and the woman who was from canada. We were all sitting around one of the table sections, and conversation just started up. We chatted about alan having been in india, the work the canadian lady did for charity, and the multiple languages the mexican dude spoke. I didnt get to talk to them about jesus, but it was great to find more people to talk to. But the best talk of the day was yet to come, and happened on thameslink station just outside kings cross. I was sitting waiting for my connection to Brighton (and as usual everyone was just sitting there in silence), when this girl about my age just started marching up and down the platform talking REALLY loudly about jesus on her mobile. My ears pricked up straight away, and pretty soon i was praying so hard she'd get off the phone before either of our trains came, cos i just wanted to chat to her so much! amazingly, she came and sat next to me, and i had the chance to. Her name was vanessa, she'd been talking to a friend about how as christians do we say that without jesus you are destined to life without God - ie hell. She said, and i agree, that it is probably the most unpopular message you can give to anyone - its offensive, it injures peoples pride, it makes christians sound self-righteous - its just NOT what anyone who doesnt believe wants to hear. And she said it didnt fit with the "compassionate jesus" she believed in - she said she wanted to believe everyone would go to heaven, including people of different religions - some of her family are muslim. So we were just starting to talk about God's justice and holiness (which cant abide sin) overriding even His compassion when our trains came. It was such a shame i didnt get to talk to her more, but i was really inspired by that five minutes - there ARE people all over the UK and the world who are passionate about Jesus and sharing the good news in our society here and now, and they arent all over 80 (although they can be!).

Anyway, i finally arrived at Brighton and was met by mike (as in kosova mike) who i hadnt seen since march, very exciting! big hugs all round. We had a really fab weekend, if it can be called that - i arrived 11pm on saturday night and left 6am on monday morning! we spent sunday on the beach, how gorgeous was that? aside from the fact that it was a pebbly beach and not a sandy beach it TOTALLY put our northern coastline to shame. Except for the fact that i burnt, which hasnt happened for years - chuh! see guys, you go south and look what happens? they give you skin cancer. Sunday evening we went to The Church of Christ the King, an evening congregation of hundreds of students who meet in a done-up old warehouse. It was a great service, the guy preaching spoke on 1peter, about unity and being brothers to each other (or sisters). So yeah, that pretty much rounds up my brief but lovely stay on the south coast.

Since arriving home, i've worked a lot, which is where i am headed next - got forty minutes from now to transform myself into a decent looking human being and arrive in the shop, which is no mean feat when you consider im still sat in my dressing gown looking like goodness knows what. Shock horror, it's 11:30! but just before i go, two more things. First off, the parable of the lost son - or prodigal son, which i like better. I read it yesterday at work and it blew me away. It's one of those stories that if you're a christian you'll have heard a thousand times over, but it hit me again today. If you dont know the story - basically, this guy asks his dad for all the money he would get when his dad died, and then leaves home and wastes it all on prostitutes and gambling and whatever. He ends up with no money, starving, and really depressed. After a long time of this rubbishy life, he decides he's gonna go back home to his dad and beg to be allowed to work for him - he wont ask to be treated like a son after what he's done, but he figures even the people his dad employs have a better life than he does now. So home he goes, anxious, ashamed, and not expecting much. But his dad is over joyed to see him back, throws a MASSIVE party, and generally just tells his son how much he loves him and wants him back. This story was told by jesus to show how much God rejoices when someone comes back to him - we are the son, and God is the father.

SO! i read this story again. And i realised something; when the son says to himself, "i will go home to my father and say "father, i've sinned against you and against heaven, and i know im no longer worthy to be called your son, please just hire me to work for you" that that is EXACTLY what i do when i fail God. I say to myself, "well, ive really messed it up this time, i just dont deserve God to love me anymore, and i wont ask Him for much again - i'll settle for him just kind of tolerating me". And thats SO wrong! cos like jesus explains through the story, God is just LONGING to have me back, to have me come home - it says in the parable that the father "saw his son while he was a long way off" - God see's me as soon as i recognise im in the wrong and start to turn back to him! it says the father was "Filled with love and compassion" - God loves me and cares about me! And best of all, the story says the father "RAN to his son, EMBRACED him and KISSED him". This is what we can expect from our Father in heaven when we return to him. Hallelujah! im repenting of my attitude that i'll come back and be only a hired servant. When i became a christian it was based on nothing i'd done, only on God's grace. And now as a christian, God's forigveness to me which i still need in my life is ALSO not based on anything ive done - it's His grace.

The last thing - and ive REALLY got to go - is that last night at work i asked steve, who i think i might have mentioned, to come to church :D i pray he comes!

The Challenge

Word4U bible notes, 02/06/2006;

"if we take His word and don't act upon it, it's as useless as a PhD in air guitar. In fact it's worse because we can become judgemental and very proud. By taking a scripture we know from the bible and applying it to our lives, living the experience, the Word comes alive"

From the book of James:

"do not deceive yourself by just listening to His word. Instead, put it into practise". 1:22
"faith that doesnt show itself by good deeds is no faith at all - it is dead and useless" 3:17

I recommit myself to God, and challenge myself to no longer claim a message my life doesn't prove.

....the Wedding!

After nearly a week since my last post, i'm back with an update. The reason i've been so delayed is that i 've spent most of this week recovering from the weekend...having never flown anywhere of any distance, i can't claim to be an expert on jetlag, but i'd nearly argue that a weekend in london is a more than sufficient cause - and yes, i now fully expect all you long-haul people to be outraged and tell me i have no idea :)

The weekend overall went really well. Like alan has said (i think), we didnt arrive at the hotel on friday night till after 1am because of a delayed flight, so we had very little opportunity to grab some shut-eye before the next day hit us - the wedding day. Everyone had breakfast together in the hotel, where some sleepy introductions were made, after which we either had to occupy ourselves for the day or help out with preparations, the ceremony not kicking off till 5pm. While Alan and Tim & Sam and Tom (my cousins) immediatley set up camp in my room (quickly proceeding to turn it into a gambling den) with the complimentary minibar, I was left to run around doing jobs for my two aunties (one the bride, one not) and my grandma...equality i think not!

But then we hit the later part of the afternoon, and everybody started retiring to their rooms to get showered and dressed up....everybody but alan, i should say, who decided this was the opportune moment to hang out with ben, a friend from his gap year in India who lived fairly nearby, in the hotel's bar! To be fair, he had everything in hand, and it was great to see ben again (although i hardly stopped in the bar for more than a few minutes before running out again) - but at the time i was like "WHAT is he doing?!?!? there's no time!". Let's just say me and alan have very different attitudes to timing; mine is along the lines of "timing happens to me", whereas alan's is "I happen to timing".

With regards to the ceremony, it went exactly as they wanted, and their love for each other was very evident; yet like alan said on his blog, we were very aware of an unmistakeable "god-gap", it being a civil ceremony. The lady who was conducting the legalities even had to leave when they were lighting a candle to symbolise the joining of their two families because it "might be seen to have religious connotations"...oh dear. So yeah, even though it was fantastic to be there, I missed the worship and prayers that i 'm so used to being a huge part of weddings.

The reception was held on a boat; about a hundred of trish and david's family and friends going up and down the themes with alcohol, the compulsory dj, and much dancing. A recipe for disaster you may think, but in fact no, it was a great night, alan's air-guitar prompting much speculation as to how much he had drunk, and even more concern when it was revealed that he was in fact sober...i enjoyed myself a lot. The night drew to a close somewhere between midnight and 4am depending on who you were..... one of their friends somehow ended up sleeping in the hotel library, even though he wasnt even booked in as a guest. Anyway, to rap it up, we had a great time, and i wish them all the best.

As we were leaving on sunday, the most common farewell was, "it'll be yours next!"......