"Glasgow, consider yourself embraced"

Today is friday, and the end of a very productive week, or so i say so myself. Not in terms of work (for which i have to admit ive done the bare minimum), but with regard to all things otherwise important, yes. This season of super-intense-activity began a week ago, when i decided to get the train home for an impromptu visit to Newcastle; totally unplanned, this was the consequence of my hall's seemingly emptying for this particular 48 hour stretch, and also the realisation that i might as well take advantage of the freedom i currently have to drop everything and go to see my family as and when i please while i have it. Time at home was very relaxing, i spent it with my parents mostly, but also got to meet up with friends who are sorely missed in Glasgow.

I embarked on my return to good old Scotland in the early hours of monday morning, and since then have been embroiled in a manic combination of lectures, christian union stuff, catching up with people, getting the car M.O.T'd with alan's amazing help (it passed, by the way!) and generally managing to feed myself and survive daily doses of Glasgow drenching. The Glasgow weather is truly amazing, and i am learning to love it in all its variety - despite the fact that it has recently cost me a very beloved umbrella which had withstood the worst Newcastle had to offer with regard to mini-hurricanes and gale-force winds quite nicely for many a year. It will be replaced tomorrow, and the battle will re-commence ("Sarah vs the Elements", that is).

But overall, I am feeling very contented. This mainly because thanks to a weekend away I've come back feeling like i can take on life with renewed energy....... although i'll admit that i dont ALWAYS feel this positive, especially when i'm only halfway through my day and am contemplating all the gymnastical feats of being in several places at once that are yet to be performed before bed can welcome me home. This, i am learning, is the life of a student; and as much as i complain, its exciting! i keep being told that it is likely i will never again meet such a range of people, and that i should embrace this ooportunity with all i have. Glasgow, consider yourself embraced.

I am also happy because i think my budget is going to stretch to the end of term, always a good feeling. Hurrah! now ive just got to work out how im going to survive christmas. A hand-to-mouth affair, i do believe. I was reading ecclesiastes the other day, and this struck me; "Don't fight the ways of God.....enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realise that both come from God".

Something wholly unconnected, but that is in my mind at present. I am studying or "reading", as the older generation might say, "Sociology and Anthropology" at University, along with Russian and Eastern Europe. However, it is the first of those subjects that is causing me much thought at the moment. The current module is being taught by the head of our department, and is "Gender and Sexuality". These lectures have covered a wide range of issues enfolded by this heading, from feminism and patriarchy to sexual discrimination, and from there on to heterosexuality, homosexuality, bi-sexuality, transsexualism and transgenderism. Although we encounter at least some of those issues on a daily basis, and are regularly exposed to others via the media, i have found these lectures quite challenging, as much of what is taught squarely conflicts my personal beliefs.

For example. I was in a tutorial the other day (which is basically where the 300 strong class breaks into groups of ten to discuss the content of the lectures in more depth) and the lady leading my group was an absolute feminist. This was to such an extent that she appeared to be condemning any woman who would ever want to get married and have a family, saying that such a person was weak and enabling male domination to continue. Hmmmm, definitely creating an atmosphere where the Christian twenty year old who is getting married in eight months will feel like her opinion will be valued! to be blunt, i found her comments quite insulting. I believe myself to be independent in many things; i have opinions, dreams and a voice of my own. And I definitely have no desire to become a baby-machine, contrary to popular belief - although i do want to have children sometime in the future. But i DO believe that while women (and men, lets be fair now!) should not be discriminated against for their sex (and defining what actually counts as discrimination is a a whole other rats nest), God did create us differently, and with different roles to fulfil, and to fight that is to fight our creator. Which lets face it, is one battle we arent likely to win. In short, I have been repeatedly struck throughout this series of lectures by what a contrast exists between the stance modern society says i should take on issues of gender and sexuality, and what i believe the bible tells me.

For example (again!); my lecture yesterday was on hetero vs homosexuality. In this lecture, i was encouraged to seriously consider the concept that being heterosexual, as the majority of the world's population still owns to be, is not in fact the result of an inherent characteristic - ie, it may not be how we naturally are. My lecturer proposed the idea that the prevailing existence of heterosexuality as the "main choice" of sexuality is nothing to do with how we innately are, and everything to do with how society wants us to be; ie, that the majority of people who are heterosexual are so because that is the sexual orientation proscribed through law, gender ideology, and most importantly, religion. This would suggest that, actually, there is no right or wrong sexual orientation, only more accepted and therefore dominant and less accepted and therefore less dominant sexual norms within society.

However, the bible tells me that God said, "it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him", and shortly after, "man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one" (Genesis 2), and clearly says that God created us to be in relationship male and female, in marriage. This tells me that God created us as innately heterosexual.

But still I find myself in turmoil, as even though i am sure of the beliefs i hold, i am increasingly seen as condemnatory of people who profess a different view of sexuality to myself. I do not like this. The thought that people look at me and think i hate people for their sexuality or consider myself superior is not something i am comfortable with - because i do not hate people, and i don't think i am superior in anyway. But i cannot compromise on my beliefs, because I believe in God, and that means that i ultimately believe in His word, which instructs us on how to live - though it also offers grace, thank God. I guess i just have to keep praying that I will know what to do and say in these situations i am finding myself in. So many people feel that because of the attitude of many christians, God hates people who are homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, whatever; but the plain fact is, God loves people, thats why Jesus died for us. I wish this could be known.